Wednesday, February 27, 2008

wow guys. this is hard.

So... yes, the wedding photographer gets married. I've seen it happen more than sixty five times. In fact, I have been intimately involved in the day and usually spend more time with the couple than anyone else on their wedding day. I love the joy and even the drama.

What I have not yet experienced is the buildup. The week before when all the relatives start to gather and coo.... a culmination of all of their hopes and dreams vigorously and vicariously thrust upon you and your wedding. The questions. The group salon visits.

Add to that that this is a 'destination' wedding of sorts - I and everyone dear to me is completely out of their element and their time zone and ethnic grouping and language. I've been sharing a bedroom in the in-laws' house with my mom for a week now and I've been hanging out with his family for three weeks.

And then finally, seemingly out of the blue came the breakdown. I found myself so upset and frustrated I made a small excuse to get out of the house and ended up taking 22 minutes to get out of their neighborhood because I kept going around the same block more than seven times.
I just had to cry to let out some of the emotion, and scream a little and say things out loud like "I am upset and frustrated right now and I don't want any of this to be happening the way it is."

When we made the decision to have the wedding in his territory and embrace Persian traditions, it didn't take me long to figure out that this is not our wedding. It is theirs. Firmly, historically, culturally, sociologically.... his family becomes the oligarchy by which every decision is made.

I love their family. I love their culture. I don't agree with everything, but I am trying to at least understand.

But... it is difficult to give up control.
And my emotions are DEFINITELY a roller coaster of craziness this week.

I can only imagine how my beautiful clients feel the week before the wedding. I think I am going to start taking them [you] out for drinks.

Also... I would not recommend that you offer to house and transport your friends. Make them find their own way. This is insane.

5 comments:

Marina said...

rachel, you are by far the sweetest and most caring bride i have ever known. i am sorry about your frustrations.

i hope friday is just amazing for you an ali.

keep your head up and remember, GREECE!!!!!!!

xoxo

tam said...

it's because you CARE so much about everyone else...you are working to make sure everyone else is happy.

I know that doesn't make it any easier -- but you are the most strong, honest, creative, amazing girl I know and for those reasons -- you WILL have an amazing day.

I'm thinking about you guys a LOT. I agree with Marina -- focus on what's coming next -- this is just to be gotten through. You are going to be SO much more amazing as a photographer because of this experience -- and you will be an incredibly beautiful and serene (on the outside ::grin::) bride.



xoxoxox

Tam

The Nicks said...

My dear friend!!

I know EXACTLY how you feel. Remember how I was late to the rehearsal? Yeah, that was part of my breakdown that week. And that is also why I was so calm the day of....the breakdown was over. No matter what, you need to know that Friday is going to be amazing and wonderful...no matter what happens.

I can't wait to hear about your day. I'd love to grab coffee with you sometime...maybe at the Starbucks where Nick and I first met with you :)

Happy wedding!

rima + dave said...

(((rachel)))
let it out. breathe. friday will be joyful and incredible. trust us!

rachel said...

thanks guys. it's already looking MUCH better after a day with my friends. today was great. even the part when we broke down on the highway at 1:00am.